Makay caught with his pants down

Controversial Man Flu? Local sporting personality Andy Mackay has been accused of doping by some in cycling otago circles. Mr Mackay’s recent absences from Racing has raised a few eyebrows. Andy Claims he has a mystery virus know to the UCO (unofficial cycling Otago) as ‘man flu’. Going around the rumour mill is the possibility of Mr Mackay trying to avoid In-Completion Drug Testers (WADA). When asked for comments, Mr Mackay is quoted as saying “At the end of the day I don’t know what Joe is putting in my bottles”. Teammate Joe Chapman refused to be interviewed but later issued a statement saying “Andy is a good boy who doesn’t ask questions”. Andy has reportedly been riding a lot of gravel/ dirt roads (aka his girlfriend) instead of fronting to races. When asked about such activities, Mr Mackay stated “I’m trying to unravel the mysteries of the Brown button that the Kumho lads have been talking about. They go so good I wish I was a Kumho boy”. After reading a leaked draft of this, Kumho rider Shane Melrose said “easy Andy, you have to walk before you can run”. Mechanical doping has been an issue that is erecting itself securely into the cycling otago clitoris and Mr Mackay has landed himself squarely in the wet and sticky mess of it all. There have been allegations surrounding the noises coming from Mackays bottom bracket during races and bunch rides. Rumours have spread faster than aids in the back seat of the Midway van that Mackay has been bike doping but he swears on the ‘Ulitimo Jamis Private Jet’ that these accusations are not true. Paul ‘D.Trump’ Gough however concludes that “It’s because it’s a fucking Jamis”