Otago bewildered by double disappointment

Right: James Grant passes a Benchmark homes rider during 180km ironman stage in Wanaka.



News shook Otago cycling circles harder than a 7.1 earlier this week when it was revealed to the country that two World's hopefuls were excluded from the team. Michael Vink, George Bennett and Jason Christie were all selected to fly the silver fern over in Geelong on the 1st of October in the U23 World Road Race Champs. After a recent rampage of strong results, many were left scrolling down the page looking for mention of ex-scarfie James Williamson but to no avail. Almost as upset as his fans about the exclusion from the team he, as always, kept his cool and looked to the positive. "Oh well, it means I can come down to Dunners and party now, lets go push some freshers off the rails at Monkey Bar!". Although a Wakatipu cycling club member, Otago pundits like to claim the subway warrior as their own and are clearly distraught about the selectors decision. Famous Comedian and Moon TV star, Chicco, said what was going through all our heads when he questioned: "What's all that sh*t about???!!!"

Although disappointed about World's hopeful, Williamson's non-selection for the team, the entire cycling world were left flabbergasted at the absence of Otago University cycling captain, James Grant, in the team. Grant, who had been labeled as a 'certain' to ride at the world champs was for some reason, not included in the U23 team. Club Captain Chris Henderson spoke of the matter, "Whatever it is those selectors are smoking, I want some". Tinelli, a New Zealand cycling apparel company were outraged. They had already produced 17,000 special edition rainbow world champion jersey's in anticipation for James Grant's guaranteed victory in Geelong. "We have lost tens of thousands of dollars thanks to some clown at BikeNZ not doing there job properly" exclaimed the CEO.
UCO went to find Grant and found him crying on his doorstep next to a half empty bottle of gin, listening to 'Eye of the Tiger' on repeat in the background. Grant spoke solemnly "It's over, I wanted to do New Zealand proud but I've been robbed of my dreams. I will continue to train for my Ironman campaign and my rap career but as far as cycling goes, I think I've had enough of all the schmuks in this sport"

UCO reporters joined James and polished off the rest of the gin. $378 of alcohol in town and 19 cheesburgers later we finally got round to writing this report.